How am I suppose to live without you?
by Pinku-koneko
Summary: (complet) HPHG - Hermione had never suffered from a broken heart. What's a girl to do? And who will save her?
1. Broken

Disclaimers: I am not J.K Rowling. Really! She owns Harry Potter. But if I were her, you would be writing your own versions of my stories. Oh well, can't have it all I guess, what a shame.   
  
Author's Notes: This is just a little something that was running through my mind for a while now. It's a bit sad at times but it will get better. It is a Harry and Hermione romance fic. Hope you like it. Just so you know, the poems are not a direct reflection of where the story is heading. I wrote them a long time ago.   
  
Walk Away  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Walk away~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Are you really going to turn your back on me?  
  
After all that we've been through!  
  
Do you really think it's over?  
  
Just because 'you' want it to!  
  
Life is more complicated,  
  
Than solely your wishes and commands!  
  
People can't simply turn their feelings off,  
  
Just because it's one of 'your' demands!  
  
You say that it's been tough for you  
  
You say that it's been hard.  
  
You say that you can't see it through.  
  
What do you want, a sympathy card?!  
  
If you really want to walk away,  
  
And leave me in despair?  
  
Don't expect me to come back to you.  
  
Because now I know you just don't care!   
  
~~Pinku~~  
  
Hermione sat in the window seat of her room. The tears just won't stop! Darn it! How could he hurt her this much? She looked out at the now forming rain clouds. A storm was coming. It was amazing how the weather always reflect the state of her heart.   
  
~~~~~Harry had come to me but a day ago telling me that it was over. Over! How could it be over? He did not even give me an explanation. He just said that it was too much for him and that he just could not go on like this. SHIT!!! Who did he think he was? The one that I love, that's who! My heart is in such pain and he won't even talk to me. I tried to talk to him about it but he just turned away and left. I ran to my room and here I stayed until now. ~~~~~~~  
  
She turned away from the window and gave her room a quick once over before her eyes landed on the big, overstuffed chair by the fireplace. Being the head girl, she had her own room and was allowed to have anyone up here. That chair, that chair that she and Harry sat in only a week ago, telling the other, between kisses, tender, sweet, loving words. With a groan, she turned again and her eyes landed on the table that held her books. She got up and walked over the table and picked up a blank piece of parchment. Right about now, she would have been writing him a love letter, pouring out her heart to him, like she always did after a long day of studding. The tears started to form again and a cloud of tears blinded her. With a loud yell, Hermione tore the parchment into shreds, threw it to the floor and stomped on it until the tears ran down her face like a river. How could he do this to her. He had said that he loved her. She saw it in his green eyes, she felt it in his kisses, in his touch! How could love be so cruel? How could the one you love break your heart into pieces without a second glance?   
  
~~~~~~Darn you Harry Potter! Darn you that you hurt me so much, and darn you that I still love you!~~~~  
  
She crumpled to the floor in a heap of sadness and misery.   
  
When next Hermione opened her eyes, it was very dark outside. Strange, she though. It was only mid-day! Then it dawned on her, the storm. It was sure going to be a nasty one. God bless the weekends! She could stay in all day and watch the storm without a care in the world. Not a care, that is, as long as she doesn't think about Harry. Harry. Oops though about him. Fresh tears started to form and her eyes did not protest. They were use to the constant flow of hot tears by now. She started to think about his always unruly, raven hear, his gentle touch, his thoughtfulness, his tender kisses and his, his…. She could think no longer, sadness had overtaken her. He did not love her anymore. Those awful, evil words echoed in her head as she got up and headed to her bed. She paused at her mirror when she saw her reflection from the corner of her eyes. She turned and saw an empty shell starring back at her. The shell looked dreadful. Its eyes were baggy, swollen, and red. Its hair was a total chaos of unruly, brown curls, flying in every direction. Its arms were black and blue from sleeping on the floor. And its nose was as red as a clown's nose. Yeah, that's it. It looked like a sad clown. With that pale face and red nose, how could you go wrong.  
  
~~~~~I hate clowns. Hate um, hate um, HATE UM!!! Look at you! You're a total mess. You're so ugly. You're an ugly bookworm! How could anyone love you? No wonder he left you. He does not love you! HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!! ~~~~~~  
  
She picked up a picture frame and was about to throw it at the hideous reflection, when she noticed that it was the photo of her and Harry by the lake. The photo Hermione and Harry were in their bathing suits, sitting in the sun. She raised her hand to take the glasses off of Harry, and was leaning in for a kiss. He had his head bowed a bit because he was a little shy of all his friends seeing how much he loved being with Her. He looked up just in time for the kiss. And then it started to replay, only this time, the photo had little rain drops landing here and there. With shacking hands, Hermione let out a loud cry and hugged to photo to her. She slowly walked to her bed, eyes raining all the while. She climbed into the covers, took one last look out the window, at the approaching storm, and fell into a fitful sleep. As sleep came and claimed his little, heart broken angel, the window felt the first drops of the storm.   
  
A/N: It is a bit sad I know, but it can only get worse before it gets better. *wink* 


	2. Run away

Disclaimers: I am not J.K Rowling. But I did read her books and saw the movies! GO ME!!!  
  
Author's Notes: I just want to say a big Thank You to my reviewers. I am so happy that you love my story! *grins from ear to ear* Special thanks to my best friend Kaori for reading them first *shakes head sadly* poor Kaori chan, Dimond, ravenclaw's heir and Sandy.   
  
Drum roll please… Without further adieu, I give you the second chappie! Enjoy.   
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Why The Thought?~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I thought of you today,  
  
In the misery and gloom that is life now everyday.   
  
Why did you come to me just then?  
  
Am I so transparent; am I always to go on this way?   
  
Is life such a mockery?  
  
That you would pop into my head?  
  
Is life trying to warn me?  
  
Or is there something else I dread?  
  
Why can't you just evaporate?  
  
And leave my love life free?  
  
I am no longer your grand passion!  
  
You made that quite clear to me.  
  
This mortal life I love so much,  
  
Is imposed upon by you!  
  
How can I escape from this?  
  
Please God! Tell me what to do!  
  
~~~~Pinku~~~  
  
Hermione jumped awake by the sound of the thunder, and loud raindrops hitting the window. Oh how her head ached. What time was she supposed to me Harry again? Once again she was in a daze about what her life was now like. She looked around the room and her eyes landed on the pieces of parchment that had felt her rage. Oh that's right, Harry does not love her anymore. She never though such pain existed like she felt just then. Such heart ache, such sorrow, such utter pain. Her eyes were burning and so were her arms. She looked down to find the loving photo of her and Harry. Harry. Oh how she missed him. She slowly climbed out of bed and headed for the showers. Being in an enchanted castle had its perks. No matter how bad the storm became outside, the castle had none of the effects on the inside. Just as she stepped out of the shower she heard a knock on her door. Wrapping in a large fluffy towel, she headed for it. She half hoped that it was Harry on the other side, ready to apologize because she was more that ready to forgive him. But the disappointment clearly showed on her face when she opened the door to reveal her other best friend Ron. With a loud sigh, she threw herself into his arms. The tears took this as an invitation and gladly sprang forward. Ron held her while she cried her heart out for the millionth time that day. He rubbed her toweled back and told her soothing words.  
  
Ron: Oh Mione. It kills me to see you like this. Please give me the word and I will go pound him for you.  
  
Hermione: *sniff, sniff* No Ron! That is not what I want. I just need to know why. That all I need.  
  
With that she released him from the hug and let him into her room. She excused herself so that she could get dressed. Ron took this time to light the fireplace. He turned around and saw the pieces of blank parchment. He let out a ragged sigh. Since it was a little after two in the afternoon, he decided to make Hermione's bed. He did not want her climbing back into it. He was here to get her out of her state of depression. Wile smoothing the sheets, he came across the picture frame. He turned it over and saw the loving Harry and Hermione just leaning in for a kiss. He remembered that day well. The six of them decided to go for a swim, he, Hermione, Harry, Nevelle, Ginny, and Lavender. It was a great day. The sun was shining and the water was nice and cool. Harry was sitting next to Hermione and loving every minute of it. Ron decided, it was about time that he got a photo of the happy couple together. He quickly grabbed Lavender's camera, gave Hermione a wink, waited for her to do her magic, and then snap. There they were. Any fool could see that they were in-love. So why was Harry being such a block-headed, good-for-nothing grit?  
  
Hermione: It was a good day, wasn't it.   
  
Ron jumped. He hadn't heard her come back into the room.  
  
Ron: Yes it was. So when are you going to cast a spell over it to make it look like it was me you were going to kiss and not slugs for brains?  
  
That made her smile a little. Good! He just had to make her feel better. With her help, they finished making the bed and decided to go for a little walk. She took the arm he offered and he led her down to the common room. He knew full well that Harry was not down there because he had left him curled up in his bed. That stupid blockhead, he though. How could anyone be so bloody dense?  
  
They slowly walked pass the other Gryfindors. How happy they all looked, she though. Don't they know? It's the end of the world, cause he don't love me any more!(1) With that a tear slid down her cheek. Ron knew that he had to get her out of this place. He took her hand and led her through the portal. They walk along holding hands, not bothering to acknowledge anyone or anything in particular. They arrived at the great hall and Ron led her to the Gryfindor table. He knew full well that she had nothing to eat since yesterday, and by the look of her, he would say that she needed to eat something. The hall wasn't crowded at all because lunch ended two hours ago and dinner won't start for another two hours, so he would have to get the house elves to get her something. Hermione wasn't hungry, as expected, so he got her a salad. They settled down and had a few glasses of water, mostly Hermione that is. She started to wonder why she was so thirsty until it dawned on her. She should have wondered why she hadn't turn into dust or die from dehydration from all the tears she shed. They talked for most of the time, about nothing much but most of all, not about Harry. Ron noticed that the hall started to full up. It was dinnertime already? Wow, he though, where did the time go. Hermione noticed the extra people and decided to eat her salad. She was just about to dig-in when, green eyes met brown. Harry. Hermione quickly dropped her fork and stood up. They were frozen. Ron noticed Harry when he walked in. He saw the love spark in Harry's eyes when he spotted Hermione. However the spark was quickly replaced by a very sad glance. Hermione look as if she was about to run to him, so Harry quickly turned away and sat at the end of the table. She turned and looked at Ron, and then back at Harry. A loud sob escaped her as she dashed from the hall. This really pissed Ron off. He pulled out his wand and headed for Harry.  
  
Ron: YOU BLOOD, STUPID BASTARD!! WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO THAT FOR!! ARE YOU BLOODY DAFT!   
  
Harry: I…I…  
  
Ron: WHAT HARRY? WHAT!? YOUR TREATING MIONE LIKE SHE SOME KIND OF A PLEG! YOU HAVE SOME NERV…   
  
He paused. Harry was crying. What the Hell is going on. Lavender noticed Hermione fleeing and went after her.   
  
Ron: Harry?   
  
Harry turned and looked at his best friend. The tears had started when he saw her run from the room. He had to stop himself from running after her. How was he going to make it through this term, if he couldn't ever be in the same room with her without wanting to hold her and kiss her and….  
  
Ron: Harry what the Hell is wrong with you?  
  
Ron sat down and placed his wand on the table. Harry was still crying. As the room filled up and the noise became overwhelming, Harry got his composure back.   
  
Harry: I love her too much Ron.  
  
Oh, Ron though, this is one of those Harry-thought-out-too-much things is it.  
  
Ron: Harry, you-know-who is not going to hunt Mione down and kill her just because you love her.  
  
Harry: How do you know?  
  
Ron: I just know.  
  
Harry: No you don't! *he said through gritted teeth* Everyone I love ends up dead. My parents, my godfather, who's to stop him from taking her too?  
  
Ron: Harry, don't be daft. He won't come after her, besides I'm still here aren't I.   
  
Harry: Don't think I haven't thought about that too. Don't you remember the giant chest game in first year or when those evil brains tried to kill you in fifth? Face it Ron, I'm cursed. You should leave while you still can.  
  
Ron: Harry, stop being so ridiculous.  
  
Harry: Am I Ron! Am I? Then tell me why this always happens to me. Why me Ron? I am sick of being the boy-who-lived! I just want to be a boy. *he said with a sad look in his eyes*  
  
With that, Harry got up and left the hall. Ron ran a hand though his red hair. He was contemplating if he should go after Harry or Hermione. Just then, the food appeared on his plate and all else was forgotten. For now anyway.   
  
A/N: (1) This is from a song that I love but I just can't remember the name of it. *wink*  
  
Well there you have it, Another sad chappie. Poor Harry! Bad Pinku for making Harry cry *spanks right hand* 


	3. Can you help me

Disclaimers: Ms. Rowling told me to tell you that I am not her, but with a little plastic surgery I might be able to pull it off. So I'm off to the doctors!  
  
Author's Notes: I just want to say a big 'Thank You' to all my reviewers. *sniff, sniff* You guys make me so happy! *wipes away tears of joy* Special thanks to my favorite cousin Bunny, who endured my endless bantering *shakes head sadly* poor Bunny. Tks atruwriter for your review lol, I love that part too! Tks anon for your review but that is the way that I want the name to be. Tks katie for your review, did not mean to offend. Tks Sandy and Dimond for standing up for me, that was so sweeeeeeeet!   
  
Drum roll please… Without further adieu, I give you the third chappie! Enjoy.   
  
~~~~~Nature's way~~~~~~~~   
  
A leaf tried to follow me today,  
  
Although I do not know why.   
  
I know that he will have a better day   
  
For I am off to cry.  
  
A tree said thank you to me,  
  
As I stepped into her shade.  
  
I gave her a sad look and left,  
  
I know that I should off stayed.  
  
A tear escaped my eyes,  
  
As bird flies over head.  
  
I wish I was that bird,  
  
So that I could fly away instead.   
  
The wind whispers sweet words to me,  
  
As I walk along the way.  
  
They told me how He's here for me,  
  
Anytime, come what may.  
  
~~~~Pink~~~~  
  
Ron had just started his second plate of grub, when Lavender ran in looking for him.  
  
Lavender: Ron! I can't find Hermione anywhere! *she said out of breath* I looked and looked! She ran away too fast and I.…  
  
Ron: Calm down Lavender. *he said putting down his fork* There's only one place Mione would run off to. If I am not mistaken, I will need my raincoat and my wand. *he turned to Lavender* Go find Harry and tell him that I went to find Hermione. Tell him that she ran outside.  
  
Lavender: In the storm! But it's raining cats and dogs out there!   
  
Ron: I know, but the Hermione that I saw run from this room, would not care now would she?  
  
With that he ran for his raincoat. Lavender was right. It was raining cats and dogs. Lucky for him, he had his wand. Casting a quick spell on himself he headed for the lake.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hermione did not know what to do with herself. Harry had looked at her as if she was nothing more than a girl he once knew. He turned away from her when all she wanted to do was run to him.   
  
~~~~~ How? How could this be? My beloved Harry. I though you were always going to be by my side, like I am willing to be by yours! How can one be so happy at one moment and than so sad the next? I have to run, run, run, run, run. I have to get away from him, form those haunting green eyes. From everything that reminds me of him!~~~~~  
  
How ironic for her to be running to that very place. She ran out the doors of Hogwarts, tears streaming down her face. No one was there to stop her, no one could. She ran, and ran, and ran. The lake came into sight and for the first time since she began running, she realized where her legs were taking her. She halted in her tracks, the rain hitting her like small pebbles, and the wind blowing her to-and-fro. She didn't care, she was soak to the bone and didn't care. Why should she care? The one boy who she loved more than life itself had dismissed her like a stranger. But by the lake, they had kissed and hugged and… And nothing! That was all over now. He had pushed her aside. What's the use in going on? Who could love her now? Who would? Harry hated her and there was no one else she would rather be with. With the wind and rain beating at her like a punching bag, Hermione fell a few times, but she got up each and every time, determined to reach that lake. She tried as hard as she could, but her legs gave way and exhaustion over took her. She fainted.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ron knew where she went, he just did not know how she got there. The raindrops were so big they looked like sniches. Although he was using the water-repellent spell, he could still feel the force of the drops hitting him. The wind was another story altogether. It blew his robes and raincoat around him as if they were made of tissue paper. Still he ran on. If he was having this much trouble then Hermione must be… He was not able to finish that though. For just as he was nearing the lake, he saw a small, motionless figure on the ground.   
  
Ron: Hermione! Bloody hell! HERMIONE! *he yelled as he neared her*  
  
He reached the very much unconscious Hermione and turned her over. Yes! She was still breathing.   
  
Ron: Why Hermione? Why did you have to run out here like that?   
  
He picked her up with very little effort, performed a drying spell on her, and ran towards the castle.  
  
Ron: You better hang on Mione! Cause when you wake up, I'm gonna give you one hell of a lecture!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hermione had no idea where she was. She looked around and saw nothing but mirrors. Odd, she though, why so many mirrors. Suddenly, the mirrors started to laugh at her. She got up and walked towards one of them. She though she would see herself look back, but what she saw was the disheveled sad clown. It was laughing at her.  
  
Hermione: Why are you laughing at me *she said as tears started to stream down her face*  
  
Sad Clown: You stupid, stupid girl! Who do you think you are? How dear you think that anyone could love YOU! Do you know what you really are? *Hermione shook her head* You are nothing but a plain, ugly, bookworm! *it yelled*  
  
Hermione was in shock.   
  
~~~No! NO! How did it know! I have to run away from it!~~~  
  
With that, she took off running. But no matter where she went, the sad clown was right there laughing at her. Suddenly she saw someone just ahead of her. Someone else was in the room. The person was not facing her but she knew it was Harry. His back was to her but she knew it was him.  
  
Hermione: Harry! Harry wait!! Please… HARRY! PLEASE DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE!!!! *she yelled*  
  
But the more she ran to him, the further away he seemed to get. All of a sudden, the sad clown replaced Harry, and it looked right into her eyes, laughing insanely. She tried to slow down but it was no use. An unseen force was pulling her into its mirror. She fell and was being dragged in! She was afraid, what was she to do, she had to get away! The sad clown's laughter was unbearable.   
  
Hermione: NO!! HARRY! SAVE ME!   
  
Suddenly, a hand griped hers. She looked up and saw Ron. Ron had come to save her! She jumped up into Ron's arms.  
  
Hermione: Oh Ron! *she sobbed, giving him a fierce hug * It was awful!   
  
She looked up, but Ron had turned into Harry. Harry! He was there, holding her like he use to, but with a sad look in his eyes.   
  
Harry: I'm so sorry Mione, but you have to go on without me.  
  
She was in shock. NO! NOOOOO! Not again! She tried to jerk out of his arms but he was too strong. She just wanted to get away. She had to get to…  
  
Out of nowhere, the lake came into view.  
  
The lake! She had to get to the lake! It was her only way out of this wretched misery!   
  
Hermione: Let me go Harry! Let me go! You don't want me, so why are you holding me?  
  
Harry: I can't let you go Hermione. *he said evenly*   
  
Hermione: I have to go!  
  
Harry: Go where?  
  
Hermione: *she turned around in his arms, struggling to be free* Let me go Harry! I have to get to the lake! I just have to!  
  
He turned her around with very little effort  
  
Harry: No Hermione. I can't let you go. *he said very calmly in a sweet, serene voice* You have to live. You have to go on.  
  
~~~~Why is he doing this! Why won't he let me go?~~~~~~  
  
She could take it no longer; this was too much for her. It was just too hard, she had to get away! She looked into his beautiful green eyes and burst into tears.  
  
Hermione: How? How am I suppose to live, Harry, with out YOU?!!  
  
Harry looked as if she had struck him with a sword through the heart. He dropped his arms in defeat and finally let go, but she fell. She fell into an abyss of total darkness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ron had just arrived at the castle door when Harry rushed out almost knocking them over.  
  
Harry: Hermione! Is she ok? What happened?  
  
Ron: I don't know but we had better get her to the infirmary quick!  
  
Harry took Hermione and they took off in a mad dash. He looked down at her beautiful face with a mixture of emotions. He was sure that it was his fault entirely. If only he had followed her, she would not have ran out into the storm, and she would have been ok now.   
  
~~~~~Stupid Harry *he thought* WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU!~~~~~  
  
A/N: Wow Hermione is unconscious! And Harry came to her rescue, but was he too late? I could tell you but that would be just wrong! It gets better I promise. *wink* 


	4. Unexpected

Disclaimers: Ms. Rowling told me that if I continue my quest to become her she would sue me for all that I have. So I'm off to hide my copy Legolas! What she doesn't know won't hurt her.  
  
Author's Notes: I just want to say a big 'Thank You' to all my reviewers. You guys rock! *high five's mid-air* Special thanks goes out to my aunt who had me read it to her, again. *grins for ear to ear* gata love her. Tks Amanda for your review! Tks Sandy once again, you go girl! And to all those that read it and don't review.   
  
Drum roll please… Without further adieu, I give you the forth and final chappie! Enjoy  
  
~~~~~Unexpected~~~~~  
  
I expected gray skies,  
  
I expected no hues.  
  
I expected only clouds,  
  
I expected no blues.  
  
I expected no sun,  
  
I expected the rain.  
  
I expected the gloom,  
  
Then came the pain.  
  
I expected the long night,  
  
I expected the tears.  
  
I expected to be alone,  
  
Where no body cares.  
  
I got out of my bed,  
  
Who would expect more.  
  
I shielded my eyes,  
  
As I opened the door.  
  
I expected to see rain,  
  
I didn't expect to see blue.  
  
I expected to see no one,  
  
But then, I saw you!  
  
You gave me a smile,  
  
This was most unexpected.  
  
You gave me your love,  
  
I would be a fool to reject it!  
  
~~~~Pinku~~~~  
  
Hermione slowly opened her eyes. Where was she? Where was that stupid sad clown!? Oh no! Harry. She went to cover her face with her right hand but it was too heavy. Something was holding it down. She looked down to find that another pair of hands were holding it firmly. Not just any hands, but Harry's hands. He was sleeping by her bed. Holding her hand!   
  
~~~~What is going on! Where did he come from? I remember running form the great hall and out into the rain and then… a stupid clown was laughing at me and… Ron saved me, then… Harry. He was there telling me sad things. And now… Now he is here, with me, holding my hand. This is way too confusing.~~~~  
  
She moved to pull her hand away without waking him but it only did the opposite.  
  
Harry: *in sleepy voice* Mione? You're awake.  
  
Hermione: I can't remember much about what happened. *she turned and looked at him* But why are you here, *she moved her fingers* holding my hand?  
  
She made a move to pull away again. But this only made Harry sit up. He looked at her with concern.  
  
Harry: I thought I had lost you. I was…  
  
Hermione: How is that possible Harry when you broke up with me.  
  
Yet again, she tried to remover her hand. She was also trying not to think about how warm and powerful his hands felt. She tried not to remember how tenderly they use to hold her or how they felt running through her hair… She was pulled out of her deep thoughts when Harry gave her hand a slight squeeze and held it a little tighter.  
  
Hermione: Please let go of my hand.  
  
Harry: No.  
  
Hermione: Please Harry, let go! *she said, pleaded with her eyes*  
  
Harry: What if I don't want to. *he said in a whisper looking down*  
  
Hermione: Harry, please stop this! You are confusing me with your actions. First you break up with me, then you come in here holding my hand. I can't do this…  
  
She broke off because he was now rubbing it gently, making it very heard for her to think.  
  
Hermione: STOP THAT!  
  
Harry: What? *he looked up*  
  
Hermione: Being all loving and, and… stuff! Harry, I want you to leave.  
  
Harry: But Hermione…  
  
Hermione: I said Leave! *she said carefully under her breath*  
  
Harry: I will leave, for now, but I will be back. I think we should talk, but when you're stronger.  
  
With that he let go of her hand and left her to be alone with her thoughts. Hermione watched his retreating back and busted into tears. She turned to her side watching the rainfall against the window.   
  
~~~~All I ever wanted was for him to come to me. I wanted him to tell me why he did what he did. But then, when he did come, I just didn't know what to do or think. How am I to know if he really wants to be with me because he loves me or does he just feel sorry for me? Why did I have to try to kill myself? *sobbing* Why did he have to see me like this? How did life get so bloody hard!~~~~~~  
  
She closed her eyes and fell asleep. When next she woke, a new pair of eyes was watching her. Ron. He sat there with his arms folded, just starring at her.   
  
Hermione: Hi Ron. Why are you looking at me like that?  
  
Ron: Why Hermione? Why would a girl as smart as yourself do something so stupid!  
  
Hermione turned and looked out the window. The rain had stopped and it was turning into a beautiful day. Hermione always loved Sundays. She used to spend every free moment with Harry. Harry. A gentle touch on the arm made her look away and back into the intense blue eyes of her best friend. As soon as her eyes met his, she busted into tears.  
  
Hermione: Oh Ron!  
  
She reached out and he gladly pulled her into a warm hug. It was killing him to see her like this. He just knew he had to do something. He patted her back and waited until she was ready to pull away. She sat back and looked at him with her wet eyes. He pulled a few tissues out of the box on the bedside table and handed them to her. She blew her nose and turned to the window again.  
  
Hermione: He was here you know. Harry. *she turned to look at him* Why is he doing this? One day, he drops me like a bad habit and the next, well after I tried to kill myself, he comes back being all loving again. Is he just feeling sorry for me?  
  
Ron: Did you talk to him?  
  
Hermione: I couldn't, not just then. *she sighed* He was just being too much like the old Harry.   
  
Ron: Look, Mione. I think you two need to have a sit down, and talk about this.  
  
Hermione: Did he say something to you?  
  
Ron: Lets just say that I understand him a little bit more now.  
  
Ron stayed and explained what he thought happened to her until she was told it was ok for her to leave. She had regained her strength and was now able to go back to her own room. She hated the hospital. After she dressed, Ron took her hand and was walking her back to her room when, they met Harry in the hall heading towards them. Hermione started to fidget with her shirt so Ron tightened his hold on her hand.  
  
Harry: Hi.  
  
Hermione: Hi.  
  
Ron: Now that's what I call an intense conversion! Look you guys, I was just about to take off so why don't I let you Harry, walk Mione back to her room.   
  
With that her let go of Hermione's hand and stepped back. She gave him a very pained look, then turned to look at Harry, who looked very hopeful. Ron rubbed Her shoulder, gave Harry a wink, then turned and walked away in the opposite direction.   
  
Harry: We need to talk.  
  
Hermione: Yeah I know.  
  
She started to walk pass him. He caught her hand and held it in his for a moment. He turned it over and threaded their finger. She surprised herself by not pulling away. He began to walk and she followed. They walked quietly for a few until Harry broke the silence.   
  
Harry: I was afraid that I would loose you Hermione.  
  
Hermione: Yeah I know. You told me.  
  
Harry: No I mean… Well not now, but then.  
  
Hermione: What are you saying Harry? You're not making any sense.  
  
Harry pulled away and started to pace the floor. He ran a hand through his raven hair, looked at her then sighed.   
  
Harry: Please Hermione? Will you hear me out?  
  
Hermione looked at him and turned away. This was so much like her dream / nightmare. Was her trying to tell her that it was over for good? Well only one way to find out.  
  
Hermione: I will hear you out Harry. But let's just go to my room first.  
  
She was getting tired, from watching him pace. It would also be better for her to be in her room, because he could just leave and she could climb into her bed and cry herself to sleep. Without another word, they walked on, arriving at her door half an hour later. Hermione stepped inside following Harry and closed the door. As she sat in the small chair by the fireplace, Harry resumed his pacing.  
  
Hermione: Harry! Would you please just, stop it! You told me you wanted to talk.  
  
Harry looked even more nervous than before. He ran a hand through his hair again and looked at her earnestly.  
  
Harry: Hermione I have been a total idiot. I should have told you what was going through my head before I jumped to conclusions. *she was doing everything but look at him* Please, Hermione. Look at me.  
  
She seemed a little reluctant. She knew that if she looked at him that her heart would melt and she would want to hold him. She could just die. Then, finally she turned her gaze to him, and their eyes locked. They starred at one another for what seemed like hours, until Hermione began to cry. Harry ran to her and started to wipe the tears away. She didn't protest   
  
Harry: Oh Mione please don't cry. *he reached out and hugged her* I was such a bloody fool! How could I have thought that I could go on with out you in my life?  
  
This shocked her. She pulled away and stood up. She walked away from him as if he were venomous.  
  
Hermione: What? What are you saying? Why don't you just tell me what is going on and stop talking in riddles!   
  
Harry took a step towards her, pleading to her with his eyes.  
  
Harry: I thought that I… Well that… that…that I loved you too much. *he hung his head*  
  
Hermione stood there in shock. Those words had hit her like a ton of bricks. Why hadn't she seen it before? He didn't hate her, he was trying to protect her. For the first time since their breakup, Hermione smiled a genuine smile. He was just Harry being Harry. She threw herself into his arms, surprising him all the while, and embraced him lovingly. He recovered and hugged her back. He loved her so much.  
  
Hermione: Oh Harry! You silly grit! How could you have thought such a thing? *she pulled back and looked into his eyes* I love you Harry and we can get through anything.  
  
Harry: But what if he takes you and tried to kill you.  
  
Hermione: Harry, when haven't that happened?  
  
Harry: Exactly! That's why I had to get you away from me. When I fell in love with you, I was selfish and did not think of the danger I might be putting you in. But, when we sat by the lake and you kissed me, I knew that I could not live without those kisses. And when we held each on that chair over there *he said pointing to the overstuffed chair* I knew that this was the real thing and I just could not let anything happen to you Hermione.   
  
Tears started to fall down his cheek and Hermione reached up and kissed them away.  
  
Harry: I don't deserve you Mione. You are more than just the one that I love, but you are one of my best friends. You should be with someone who wouldn't put your life in danger for one second.   
  
Hermione pulled back at his last words.  
  
Hermione: Don't even think that Harry Potter! How long have we been friends? For over six years! If nothing has happened to me by now, who are you to say that anything will happen to me in the future?  
  
Harry: But what if…  
  
Hermione: We can't live our lives on what ifs Harry! I love you, and I love only you. There is no one else out there for me. *she said in a whisper*  
  
With that Harry bent his head and kissed her with all the love he had to give. She wrapped one arm around his neck and the other she ran through his hair. They both moaned as the kiss was deepened. Finally, coming up for air, they both giggled at how silly it all was now.   
  
Harry: So, you're not going anywhere, no matter how bad it gets or how hard I push? *she shook her head 'no'* So you forgive me then?  
  
Hermione: Only if you promise not to over think anything ever again. You also have to promise to come to me and talk about it first.   
  
Harry: I promise Hermione.   
  
He reached out and ran a hand through her soft brown hair, loving every minute of it. She closed her eyes and moaned, leaning in closer to his touch.  
  
Harry: I also promise you, love, never to leave you again.  
  
She turned and looked at him, reached up and sealed that promise with a loving kiss.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Awwww…. That was so sweet! Harry can be so fluffy sometimes. Told ya it would get better. Well you have come to the end of my fic. Hope you liked it. Please exit to the right and could the last person, yeah you in the back, could you please turn off the lights before you leave? Tks. Until my next fic *blows a big kiss* Later!   
  
~~~~~closing credits ~~~~~~  
  
(dramatic music playing in back ground)   
  
Harry ------------- Harry  
  
Hermione-------- Hermione  
  
Ron --------------- Ron  
  
Lavender -------- Lavender   
  
Other students - Other students  
  
*you have to scroll down slowly*   
  
Author: Pinku  
  
Writer: Pinku   
  
Novelist: Pinku  
  
Poet: Pinku  
  
Dramatist: Pinku  
  
Essayist: Pinku  
  
Creator: Pinku  
  
Journalist: Pinku  
  
Original book and idea: J.K Rowling  
  
(end dramatic music playing in back ground) 


End file.
